The Queer Relationships Project:
Resources Archive and Oral History Project
The heteronormative model for relationships is the most prevalent in our culture. Yet, for centuries, other models have existed, often behind closed doors due to social stigma, shaming practices and personal and cultural interests.
Most people aren’t exposed to alternative models of relationships, and so these become unimaginable, unspeakable, unavailable. There is no common language to talk about practices that differ from the heteronormative one. The only relationship language we are exposed to and receive from our blood families and the culture most of us grow up in is one that considers the heteronormative model as the only possible way to form relationships.
And yet, alternatives exist. The queer culture offers and embraces opportunities and practices that stray from the heteronormative ones. We meet in different ways, we interact in different ways, we create different types of kinships, relationships, households and families. We do this mostly by experimenting, sometimes failing and sometimes succeeding. What queer role models, resources, tools and practices we may encounter are overwhelmed by the broader culture's insistence on those affirming the heteronormative model.
The purpose of this project is to help to fill that void, and create a centralized, go-to location for easily accessible models, theories and practices. We want to offer queer people tools and inspiration to explore, maintain and nourish their queer, alternative relationships.
What makes a Queer relationship Queer?
Queer relationships challenge (at least) three aspects of the heteronormative model:
Monogamy (open relationships, polyamory, polyfidelity, solo polyamory)
Gender Roles (unsubscribing to traditional “man” and “woman” roles)
The Relationship Escalator (forming and evolving relationships in a variety of courtship, bonding, commitment and engagement practices)
How is the information organized:
queerrelationships.org is organized around the above three themes:
- The Resources Archive includes references to different types of resources (articles, books, films, works of art, etc) that are addressing one or more of those topics. The selected resources are either addressing queer people specifically, or are offering a neutral (neither specifically queer or heteronormative) approach to the topic discussed, that offers value that can be insightful to people in queer relationships. The resources in the archive are organized in collections around those 3 themes. Some items fit in more than one collection.
- The Oral History Project is aimed to document queer relationships, with the purpose of making these more visible, and the stories more accessible. We want these stories to serve as various role-models for queer people in relationships.